One Month

Officially over a month alcohol free, but it's really taking its toll on me this.

I'm too depressed to do anything, so I'm just bored. And finally starting to get cravings because of that.

Can't stop crying today. Just feel like I have nothing to live for as I lost everything I had.

My mum kept sending me stuff about a wedding fayre that's happening today, and it's just absolutely crushed me. She KNOWS I'm not engaged anymore, and doesn't take a genius to figure out I might be a little upset about the fact. When in reality I'm actually heading back towards suicidal because of it.

So yeah. I'm so fucking miserable and don't really see the point in anything, including sobriety. He's bound to leave me at some point anyway, what's the point? I'm just delaying the inevitable.

That said, I'm still not going to drink. I'd love to, as I'd at least get that initial burst of happiness from it and motivation to actually do something with my day off after a shitty week at work. But nope. Just going to cry and attempt to distract myself from the urge to self harm.

LOVING LIFE

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