A Fail?

Sooo I went to a big concert on Wednesday. I gave myself the night off sobriety as planned, and fiancé is now insisting never again as I drank too much...but not enough to not be able to consent apparently *shrug*

As far as I'm concerned, that's completely normal for a gig? I had a really fun time, wasn't stuck dissociating in a room packed with people like I would have been otherwise. I could actually sing & dance. And yeah, it's not ideal, but that doesn't feel like a relapse to me? It was one night and I have no desire to drink again until the next big event.

My goal isn't never drinking again, and it never has been.

If I wasn't being controlled I probably would have taken it a little easier to be honest. I've always been a person to rebel if I feel controlled. But I don't even feel like I did? I don't know.

I don't get the point in restarting my sobriety count still. I don't count that as a relapse, and honestly I don't really need to count it anymore. I'm not really 'a drinker' anymore.

Maybe I'm just delusional. But I'm happy with how I'm doing, and that's all that matters to me really.

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