First Post-Lockdown Gig

 On Monday I went to my first gig in about 2 years, which was a very strange experience. Especially since I ususally drink a lot at concerts.

I will admit I did have one beer, but I didn't even enjoy it. Did beer always taste that bad? Definitely not counting it as a relapse though as it wasn't, it was an appropriate time to have a beer. IMO it's not a relapse if it's controlled and within normal drinking amounts, and it's not like I was drinking to get drunk.

That said, I didn't enjoy the gig as much as I usually would. Hard to tell how much of that was due to not being drunk and how much was due to feeling disgustingly uncomfortable being crammed into a packed room with other people touching me after a year and a half staying as far away from other people as possible (I've always hated being close to other people anyway tbh as it makes me anxious!).

Have another gig in a few weeks, we're going with more people so don't know if I'll feel awkward not drinking in a bigger group. Don't think it would bother me too much if I stayed sober for it but I do miss pre-drink cocktails (which are mostly ice and mixer anyway) and I feel like I'll go to less gigs in future if I end up not drinking.

I guess everything is still new at the moment, it's a bit of trial and error and trying to find a spot I'm comfortable at. I definitely don't intend on drinking with the pure intention of getting drunk again, and I feel surprisingly confident that I'll be able to cut it out completely again if I showed signs of slipping back into old habits.

Suppose only time will tell.

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